rate_review Reviews

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters? Or can you write a sequel to this story please?

Your story's plot was decent and had potential but in all was very rushed. The entire story was too rushed. You should have put more detail into it and kept Snape more into character. This is by no means a flame so please don't take it as so. I just thought i should help you for your next story.

-Don't rush things so, take your time and make it detailed.
-Keep the characters in character. Snape was very out of character in your story and more OCC than anything. Snape is very dark and doesn often show emotion, nor does he smile....ever. Think of him as a snake because in all honesty, Snape is very snake-like in personality and in grace.
-Fightning scenes should always have tons of detail and energy.
-Your ending was far too rushed and simple. You completely lost me.


You have great potential in writing, you only have to take your time and do your research. Don't feel pressured to update quickly, your readers will love the chapter even if it takes a month to write...suspense is key anyways.

I hope i have helped you in some way. Your story was good in all other senses. :D

Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have: maeg_porter@yahoo.ca


Earwen

to OOC

OMG, CAN YOU JUST STICK THIS STORY UP YOUR A** SO THAT I WON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT ANYMORE?? PLEASE, IT SUCKS BEYOND SUCKING!!!

good story i wasnt to keen on the ending but good none the less

After just reading through this chapter i noticed that this one part was exatly like another part in another story written by the author death... in that story snape and lucius are dueling over hermione, harry is his second coz ron is an ass and draco is lucius\'s 2nd..the only difference is that unforgivables werent allowed in the other one and it wasnt to the death...you might have read the story and inadvertantly added it in there because it is almost identical...ive read just about every story about hermione and snape and i remember them....i thought you should know...coz i dont think it was necessarily intentional

I love your story. It is exciting!

Sweet merciful Lord! This is one of the worst (and unintentionally funny) things I have ever read in my life. It's such a shame that valuable space on aff.net was wasted on this trash.

And you mention you want to publish a book? That terrifies me.

omg, plz never ever write again, kthnx.

Sometimes I read this story just for the laugh. Please go back to the hole where you crawled out of, before my thoracic cavity is covered in urine. Either you have trouble sorting out how to write properly, or you have an obvious concertion with leaving out character development all together. I suggest you sit down, find some other stories and here, and take notes. Please burn anything associated with this story, while I try to stop laughing and maybe bang my head against the wall to destroy any brain cells with this story in them.