rate_review Reviews

i love this! for not being used to writing smut, i\'m surprised. very excellent - more please!

Much better without the \"baby\" word... still great!! Love it. Now, for seconds!!

You are amazing!! Great stuff... just great! I can see its going to be a lot of innuendo... lovely!!

First, let me say that I really enjoyed reading this. I like how we were only in one character\'s head at a time and I thought it was a nice touch that we were not hearing the thoughts of the person experiencing the direct pleasure of the moment. There was only one time that I popped out of the story. When SS says that he made the same mistake as the boys in not realizing that HG was a woman. It seemed that you had already built up the fact that he had an attraction to her since he especially did not want to hear HG moaning someone else\'s name. I wasn\'t exactly sure how these two things went together. It may be clear to others, but I figured I would just mention it. I think it was simply great. I would like to read more ( just like everyone else) and, in all honesty, think that this would make a good full story instead of a pwp. Please keep up the great work and keep writing even if it is not this particular story.

Ok, so I never review, and you should feel very loved. I just wanted to tell you that I think your story rocks and the writing is great. Kudos to you and your beta. Update! And write more stories! You are the best new writer I\'ve ever seen, and since the internet eats my life, I\'ve seen alot of new authors. I can\'t wait for more!
-Katamara

At first, when I read the premise of the story I laughed, because it\'s just so outlandish. But I actually thought you did it quite well. The reader has to make the assumption that Snape has been attracted to Hermione for awhile - you have it as a given rather than something you build up to, but you do provide the background that they\'ve been working together for awhile so that it is believable. I know you asked whether your characters were in character - for the most part yes, although it seems a little odd is that Severus wouldn\'t have locked and warded the room he was in before, ahem, making himself comfortable, and also I have to suspend some disbelief that he would give in so easily to making Hermione\'s experience more personalized (he seems the type who would be very uncomfortable sexually to me). nei neither of these is a major issue, I enjoyed reading the story and look forward to more. - Shags

(having read chapter 1) Good heavens, how intriguing. A very novel twist. Most unusual and very well written.

Before I read chapter 2, though, I just wanted to comment that I don\'t think that Severus would, under any circumstances, use the term \"baby\". Possibly sweetheart, possibly darling, more likely just Hermione. Definitely *not* baby. I think, anyway.

(Having now read chapter 2)

That\'s very good, that is. I\'m glad you carried on with it.

Possibly the second chapter wasn\'t quite as strong; possibly I just think so because the end was less erotic. It was certainly very good.

It occurs to me that Severus\' realisation of having done what Ron and Harry did would be more powerful, and the whole thing more interesting, if you deleted the reference to a tingle when hold hands to be portkeyed in the first chapter.

At this stage, much as I\'m dying to read more, I\'d urge caution on you and suggest you don\'t rush into writing more before planning carefulThisThis fic could easily slip into clich

Oh My! I must that I am enjoying this story and if ou don\'t get this thing updated rather quickly I shall be very upset. :) Writing porn may be hard , but you do it very well!

Writing smut *is* hard, but you definitely have a gift. My gosh, both these chapters were hot and they haven\'t even had sex. Definitely looking forward to more.