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June 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
More,More,More!!!!!!!!!!Chapters!
Great story so far
Great story so far
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June 26, 2005 at 12:00 AM
great
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May 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
i\'d like few more chapters please? i love it so far.
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May 4, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I love this story.
I wish the chaps were a bit longer but I love it. Please please please please please More!
I wish the chaps were a bit longer but I love it. Please please please please please More!
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January 15, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Well, there are good and bad things, let me be brief: You do have talent for writing, you need someone to check your grammar and spelling. You are moving the plot along a bit fast, you may want to try an outline. Be sure and show what you are doing, don\'t tell. (I heard that once). On the good side, you have the beginnings of a good plot, and with a little more work, you may yet have a bestseller! Do you have a Thesarus? Might come in handy... but great start! Thanks, Pete
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January 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
i like this fanfic. I thank that you should keep going on it. if not just make the chapters a little longer.
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December 3, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Ie the the story so far. Please write some more
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December 1, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I Love this story and I can\'t wait to see where it goes and how you develop it.
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November 30, 2003 at 12:00 AM
You know, you should write because you really want to, not because you want people to review. It\'s a bit selfish. Oh and your writing is a bit muddled. Run-on sentenand and all. Makes for difficult reading.
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November 29, 2003 at 12:00 AM
I like the idea for the story, but please have someone beta your stuff before you upload it to the site!!! The grammer and structure of your sentances needs major work.