rate_review Reviews

I suggest before delving into17 t17 territory, you do a little growing up of your own. Not to be snide, but you have a rather juvenile and clumsy style of writing, and some scenes are quite crude. Now, there\'s nothing really wrong with explicit sex, and God knows you gave sufficient warning to you readers, but consider checking grammar and spelling as well as the wording of the sex scenes.
An interesting premise, however, and I would like to see it continued.
Sincerely,
Sam
P.S. I heartily apologize if you found this review too critical; I only wish to improve the quality of Adultfic writing rather than supporting smut of the adolescent variety. I believe that adults, as well as having the maturity to write sexual situations for their characters, ought to have the maturity to write good and well-developed ploes. es. And here I am assuming you are, indeed, over 18.
By the way, there\'s nothing wrong with the plot of this story, it promises to be interesting, indeed, and I meant it when I said I\'d like to see a continuation.

i think u should continue it

Well, If you wanted constructive criticism, here it is. If English is your second language, you might want to know that the sentence \"Ginny and her warmth as the bed started to moan and groan with the two lovebirds making love once again.\" is laughable. I think I understant waht you were trying to do, but it\'s wording is a little off. I liked that you had them use a condom (all about safety!) but maybe a more sensual approach would have been better. I would rate this fic about average, but it isn\'t horrible.

I really wish you would continue it. I\'d love to find out what Herm and Ron are going to do with those photos.